We're feelin' it, dawg!'American Idol' is back on the mic. What's new this season? Where are last year's finalists? And will anyone really sing 'She Bangs?' The answers right after this break ...
By HEATHER SVOKOS
STAR-TELEGRAM STAFF WRITER
RCA
More photosJust about any reality show allows us to be an armchair critic, but one program lets us judge not only singing and showmanship but mental health and the capacity for self-delusion. Oh, American Idol, we're so glad you're back.
Season six of Fox's hit singing contest premieres on Tuesday -- let the wackiness begin! Of course, self-delusion is always running full-throttle in the early part of any A.I. season, because early on, producers realized something: many viewers don't care so much about the singers with the real pipes -- the Fantasias, the Rubens, the Kelly Clarksons. No, for many, the better TV night is the train wreck of screeching, whining, tone-deaf, so-bad-it's-good performances.
And those who savor the badness are in luck: The season launches on Tuesday, but it'll take a while to get to all the real singers. The 12 finalists won't be put together until the March 13 show.
But for now, we want to help you get your judge on for the new season, so we offer this American Idol sampler platter.
Six things you should know about this season
1. Songwriting competition. Remember Taylor Hicks', left, Do I Make You Proud? Kelly Clarkson's A Moment Like This? Fantasia's Believe? All the Idol-commissioned songs -- the ones sung by the champion at the end -- have pretty much been terrible treacle. And that's not just us: the producers agree. This year, the show is planning a national songwriting contest to determine the winning single. The contest will be open to anyone -- signed or unsigned. Will the judges and producers pick the final song, or will it be left to America to decide? Details are still in the works, so stay tuned.
2. A fab fave? There's a chance the show could land a primo guest to work with the contestants: Paul McCartney. Not only does the show need him (remember Kenny Rogers week?), but Sir Paul might just need the show, what with all his bad divorce publicity lately. Bring on the Beatle!
3. Ford is a sponsor again. This means we'll be seeing more of those cheesy, borderline-dadaistic Ford commercials. Shudder.
4. Well, you know his name is Simon. Simon has too many irons in the fire this year: In addition to judging duties on A.I., he's developing the second season of NBC's America's Got Talent, he's an executive producer of The X Factor and he's also busy with his high pop creation, Il Divo. Which means he's "been more testy than ever before," host Ryan Seacrest told Entertainment Weekly. Ah, lovely. The testier the Cowell, the better the show.
5. Texas flavor. This year, one of the city stops for auditions was San Antonio. Look for that episode on Jan. 31.
6. Weirdness will abound. Great news for those of you who like to watch for the so-bad-it's-good flavor of the first several weeks: the judges complained to Entertainment Weekly about the horrendousness of the auditions. You know that shelf with the William Hungs, the "Crazy Dave" Hoovers and the scary Mary Roaches? There's lotsa room up there.
Six songs to retire from the 'American Idol' stage
Sometimes it's because they were so good. Sometimes it's because they're just done to death. And sometimes it's because they were so bad, they actually made our eardrums burst into tiny flames. So we offer these earnest pleas to the producers and future contestants.
1. Summertime. We're all about crusty cynicism, but we have to admit, when we saw Fantasia (season three) kneeling at the foot of the stage, unleashing her gut-wrenching rendition of the Porgy and Bess classic, we got chills. She was brilliant, and we knew even then it was time to retire it from the A.I. stage.
2. Don't Rain on My Parade. When Randy and Paula gave La Toya London (season three) a standing ovation for her roof-raising rendition of the Barbra Streisand Funny Girl number, we joined them. We're still bitter she got the boot too early, so do us a favor and bar anyone else from doing it.
3. She Bangs. Please. This Ricky Martin number only reminds us of the gloriously uncoordinated, astoundingly untalented William Hung (season three). Please take pity on us. We're so very tired.
4. Moody's Mood For Love. You know what? We don't care that Elliott Yamin (season five) didn't look like an American idol. He caressed the lilts of this song as if it were written for him. It's his now.
5. Crocodile Rock. Remember John Stevens, the carrot-topped "crooner" from season three? (I know. We tried to forget, too. Sorry.) By massacring this loveably silly number, he nearly killed our love of vintage Elton John. Put the kibosh on this one.
6. It's Raining Men. Even the judges have remarked that this song has been trotted out one too many times. Unless you're Martha Wash, we don't want to hear from you. Got it?
Our six predictions for this season
1. Some fool will attempt to out-Dreamgirls former A.I. contestant Jennifer Hudson, by singing And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going from the current hit movie.
2. We will laugh at them.
3. We're going out on a limb here, but one of the finalists -- perhaps a young man -- will sing a song that brings Paula Abdul to tears.
4. There will be one "rocker" who is praised for "staying true to himself."
5. After one too many eye rolls, Simon Cowell's eyeballs will actually freeze like that.
6. We will laugh at him.
Where are they now?
Whether they're crowned the American Idol (Taylor Hicks) or flame out as the first of the 12 finalists to get the boot (remember Melissa McGhee? Us either.), they've earned their 15 minutes of fame. But what else have these season five finalists been up to? We take a peek and see how their careers are faring, and we add a telltale gauge: Where have they performed the national anthem?
Taylor Hicks (winner)
Record label: Arista
Chart action: His self-titled album debuted Dec. 12 on Billboard's Top 200 at No. 2. It's now at No. 36; his label hasn't yet released a single from the album but is expected to by late January or early February.
Appearances: Orange Bowl halftime show, with one of his own American idols, Gladys Knight; Christmas in Washington program, sharing a stage with Il Divo, the president and the first lady and Dr. Phil. He launches his solo tour on Feb. 21.
National anthem: At the NASCAR Nextel Cup Series.
FYI: The closing track on Taylor Hicks is The Right Place, a gospel-tinged ballad intended for Ray Charles before his death. It was co-written by Bryan Adams and Jim Vallance.
Katharine McPhee
Label: RCA
Chart action: Her debut single, Somewhere Over the Rainbow/My Destiny, peaked at No. 12 on the Billboard Hot 100. Her album goes on sale Jan. 30.
Appearances: VH1's Big in '06 Awards (won award for "Big 'It' Girl."); Rose Parade; toured with Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli
Movies: Had a part in a small 2006 movie, Crazy. She played "Paramount Girl."
National anthem: Christening ceremony of the Princess Cruises ship Crown Princess in New York.
FYI: She revealed that she previously suffered from bulimia.
Elliott Yamin
Label: Sony (album due early this year)
Other recording: In December, released a cover of Donny Hathaway's This Christmas.
National anthem: Game 2 of the NBA finals in Dallas (in a Mavs jersey).
FYI: He had a smile overhaul, including $50,000 worth of porcelain veneers and other dental work.
Chris Daughtry
Label: 19 Recordings/RCA Records
Chart action: After six weeks out, his band's self-titled album is now at No. 11 on Billboard's Top 100. Their single, It's Not Over, is at No. 38 on Billboard's Hot 100.
National anthem: Arizona Cardinals game
FYI: He's still known as Chris, but, a la Jon Bon Jovi, the rocker named his band after his surname.
Paris Bennett
Label: Her uncle's label, 306 Entertainment. Her first album is set for release in March. Its title? Princess P, after Idol host Ryan Seacrest's nickname for the little dynamo. To hear or download two singles from the album -- Burnt Up and Dreamin' -- visit
www.myspace.com/anaisbennett1.
Appearances: Several benefit concerts for causes such as AIDS and domestic violence awareness.
National anthem: Conference finals NBA game between the Detroit Pistons and the Miami Heat.
FYI: She's launching a clothing line: Tres P, which stands for "three times the Paris." The line, which she hopes to have on sale next year, "is to help you find your royalty," she said at the 2006 BET Awards.
Kellie Pickler
Label: BNA Records
Chart action: Her Small Town Girl album debuted in October 2006 and landed immediately at No. 1 on Billboard's country chart; it's still lingering on Billboard's Top 200, currently at No. 84.
TV career: She's done correspondent bits for The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, as well as for the MTV Movie Awards and the CMAs; she's signed to do a pilot for a sitcom loosely based on her life, where she plays a small-town Southern girl who discovers that her biological father is the governor.
National anthem: NASCAR race in Concord, N.C.
Ace Young
Record deal: None as of yet, but in October, he released his own single, Scattered, available on iTunes.
Charts: Not yet
Appearances: He performed on the 2006 Walt Disney Christmas Day Parade, along with fellow finalists Paris Bennett, Kevin Covais, and Mandisa.
National anthem: Denver Nuggets game against Minnesota in November; Colorado Crush arena football game
Bucky Covington
Label: Lyric Street Records in Nashville. His first single, A Different World, will hit country radio on Tuesday, the day the new A.I. season launches.
Appearances: Everyone does an American Idol tour of some sort, but Bucky did a more major tour late last year: He was part of the GAC Country Music Christmas Tour (with the likes of Deana Carter and Julie Roberts). Granted, he was taking the place of Nashville Star winner Buddy Jewell, who broke his wrist, but still.
National anthem: Not so much.
Mandisa
Label: EMI CMG, a Christian label. She's preparing to record her first album, slated for sometime in the spring, according to Mandisa's MySpace page.
Appearances: American Idols Live! tour
National anthem: Nope.
FYI: Mandisa is writing an autobiographical book called IDOLeyes, which is due out in June. The book explores her food addiction and judge Simon Cowell's nasty comments about her weight.
Lisa Tucker
Record deal: Not yet
Appearances: Tournament of Roses Parade.
TV: She appeared as herself on last season's prom episode of The O.C., and will appear this season in a recurring role in Nickelodeon's Zoey 101.
National anthem: Los Angeles Angels at Angels Stadium
Kevin Covais
Record deal: Not yet
Appearances: Played Ruben Studdard's mini Texas Tour in October 2006, along with Melissa McGhee and other former Idol contestants; also hung with McGhee when they both did the Pet Rock Festival; Italian American Night celebration in Nassau County, N.Y.
National anthem: Boston Bruins vs. New York Islanders game
FYI: Kevin, who has diabetes, works with charities devoted to fighting the disease.
Melissa McGhee
Record deal: Nope
Appearances: Studdard's mini Texas Tour, Wet and Wild Foam Party and the Pet Rock Festival. In October, she had surgery to remove polyps from her vocal cords.
National anthem: None on our radar
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